omens

Inspite of the beautiful weather, it is anything but a pleasant day. We are in short stay surgery waiting to be sent back down to interventional radiology. The drain is not behaving; it has never, ever behaved. I am ready to fight to have it removed completely. If I have to remove it myself, it is coming out.

Last night we went for dinner and a movie. My fortune cookie said, "You will have a long life." Scott's cookie was empty. There was no paper; no fortune. We sat there and stared at each other feeling........... I don't know. How are you supposed to feel when even your pretend fortune comes up empty?

The blue skies felt like a good sign, this morning, but I am trying hard to stay away from believing in omens. It rates with the superstitions that have crept into my life as it has fallen apart; feelings that if I do something just right, things will work out better. They directly reflect my desperations and frustrations at being helpless as Scott goes down.

Scott keeps telling me he is dying........... stupid cookie. I am never eating chinese, again.