the longest days

Centimeters separated my side of the van from the rear bumper of the truck. It was a big, shiny truck, and I became acutely aware that angels buffer every aspect of my life. With the way I drive it must be a tough assignment, but I feel ever so humbled to have them. Thank you, thank you.

It will be a year this week that Scott's ERCP brushings showed cancer cells; a whole year. I can't remember what I thought about before, but since, there's not been room for much else. Nothing is the same, and how could it be? Cancer consumes everything in it's path.

I look at Scott and pray his essence will come back. The man must be in there somewhere. The little glimpses every now and then give me great hope, but for the most part, he feels burned and war torn. These soulless days are the longest; the days spent only breathing.

The Toones provided the much needed distraction for the evening, thank you. The kids even cleaned their rooms for wii privileges. Scott stayed home and enjoyed the quiet.