So last week, while passing the library at church, I noticed that my children were teasing the substitute librarian. He's a good natured man so I said, "Be nice to Brother Cromwell. He's from Ririe. He has special needs." I forgot all about it until at church, today, he asked me if he was still "special needs". I am also from an Idaho podunk so I told him, yes, but that I was also a special needs person coming from West Jefferson.
It started me thinking about how special needs we all are. There was this warm, gushy acknowledgment that we are all pathetic people, but that the Lord knows each one of us and tends carefully to our needs. It was a feeling that the Lord wants us. He wants me.
I felt happy, but even more, I felt content...........well, for about a minute.
Not to seem superstitious, or ungrateful, or anything. But I seem to get these feelings right before my world grinds to a halt. It has never failed. Everything gets stripped down to the bare bones of breathing and praying within a short time of feeling God's love.
They have become a warning, a hold on to your britches. I felt it on the way home from the hospital in April, right before they told us Scott had cancer. I wondered, then, what on earth could be coming that would warrant being strengthened to such a degree.
It came, and I have been so grateful for that affirmation that God lives and loves me. It pulls away so much doubt, so much fear. It's a, "You're where you need to be. You'll be fine. Hang in there.", to pull out when I really need it.
Still, that does not prevent the drastic series of intestinal distress that follows......not that you really wanted to know about that.
Anyway, we are having a nice Sunday. The kids have decided to bury each other in the leaves. They are not fighting, so I am endorsing it as a worthy sabbath activity.
Scott does not have to start chemo until Friday and is feeling quite well in his Sunday napping mode.
I am left to take a tums and a few pictures of the kids. What is there to do but enjoy? Pray and enjoy.
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Dear Scott and Brenda,
I'm glad you enjoyed you day yesterday. It is nice to just hear about you relaxing and taking time with the kids. The leaves sounds fun!
I too am grateful for the feelings of love from our Heavenly Father. Those warm moments really makes it possible to keep trying and trying.. even if I have expericenced previous failures. I wonder how people make it through their lives without that assurance of a loving Heavenly Father.
So continue in courage, love, patients and hope. It will be over soon.
Take care with much love
Em and family
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